Tuesday, July 8, 2008

I can't sleep! I hate when the boyfriend goes and has a guys night out or hangs out with his friends (and doesn't invite me!) and doesn't come home until super late at night. Does that make me selfish? It really bothers me because I don't know what he's doing! I don't mean cheating or whatever. I just mean smoking and drinking and all that. It just bothers me because he DRIVES and I'm worried that something will happen to him while he's driving if he's had a few drinks or smokes and he won't listen to my cautionary tales. (Typical. He's stubborn, I'm stubborn). He hangs out with them for what seems like every freaking day, but I guess it's like every other day? or half of the week? It also kinda bothers me that he doesn't invite me to hang out with him and his friends more often (if it's not a guys night out) cuz that's an issue I had with my ex boyfriend. We went out for 2 years and can you believe that I only met like 3 of my ex's closest friends? He never even introduced me to his other friends that he used to go partying with and I don't even know if they KNEW that he had a girlfriend for 2 whole years! I felt like I didn't exist and I had no one on my side to tell me if anything out of the ordinary happened at those parties if you know what I mean. Of course, I can't explain this to my boyfriend since he HATES it when I bring up any subject with my ex in it so he just doesn't get why I need so much attention and affection... And I don't even get why I need so much damn attention and affection. I just know that I need it and without it, I start to feel extremely insecure and depressed. I just wish we'd do more things together. I mean, we are together all the time, but when it comes to going out with our friends, we have separate friends, separate agendas. He likes to do things on his own with his own friends. He even said that he prefers it that way so he can "do things that I know you won't like" and I know he worded it wrong and it came out wrong and I know what he means by it (like drinking and smoking since I don't really like that kind of stuff), but why have the need to do it when I'm not there? It's not like I ever physically stopped him from drinking or smoking even though I don't like it. Well whatever, I have work at 9 tomorrow and it's already 2 in the morning and even though my mind isn't tired, my eyes are through my thick spectacles. I barely ever wear my glasses. I tried sleeping, but I couldn't and I didn't want to put my contacts in again. I'm seriously so incredibly blind. My prescription is -6.75. I thought about laser eye surgery, but the fact that you have to get them done again every 5 or 10 years or something like that doesn't appeal to me... Maybe when I get really blind I'll have to consider it.

10 comments:

Makeupfairytale said...

omg...that was same with me and my ex, i met like 3 of his close friends, and then beyond that...ha, and we were also together for about 2 years. i think it's justifiable that you should be worried about him, especially if he drinks. i had a best friend who not long ago passed away in a car accident due to alcohol. so if your man really cares about you, you would take your thoughts into consideration, just try to explain it, in the past i just kinda complained and guys don't like that. :) hope everything gets better!

Alyssa said...

The way you're feeling makes a lot of sense. I would feel the same if I was in your shoes *huggles*. Can you tell him how you feel without bringing up the ex?

Erica said...

You're not being selfish. You're just feeling like that because you really do care for him. I really don't knw what kinda advice I can give you in this situation cuz I have never had a boyfriend before. lol My parents are always like, wait til college. I don't really care about that, but I just haven't found the guy who feels the same way. You know? lol and I never knew you have contacts! lol I just got mines last week, and I'm on my 1 week trial thing... lol

Amina said...

I wish i could say something reassuring but i have no experience..
I agree with Alyssa. Maybe he cringes whenever he hears about your ex because men can be territorial and he doesn't want you to imagine you with the ex....

Alyssa said...

The reason why I said not to bring up the ex is most, including females, don't like hearing about their mate's exes. It's just a conversation you don't really talk about unless the other person doesn't mind. Can you say something like this is how I've been feeling when you've been going out without me, as well as, feeling worried waiting at home? If he's a compassionate boyfriend, he should be able to understand where you're coming from. Then from there try to compromise to a medium where you give in some, as well as, him.

Stephy said...

omg i SOOO understand how u feel cuz i had a similar fight with my bf just last night! well my bf didn't do things that i did not like but it's just that he doesnt seem to understand why i need so much attention and affection either... sigh...
anyways i am sure we both will feel better!! :) cheer up girl!

Askmewhats said...

sorry girl *hugs* I am so sorry with what you're going through, i won't be able to sleep myself..i don't like it when guys doesn't talk about issues, they just want to just ask us to "forget about it.." we can't! we're not like robots who can just switch on and off our thoughts...I hope things gets better...hold up..be strong! Try to keep yourself busy so you won't think much about this!

spankedelic said...

awww thanks. hehe. you best join!

Yellow Fever said...

my boyfriend used to be like that, and I HATED it. his friends were dumb and immature. we grew up, we're both finishing college soon, starting out successful careers got our own apartment etc., and his friends never did ANYTHING with their lives. they all still live at home and do nothing but play video games and they're already in their mid 20s. my boyfriend always tells me that I raised the bar and he's so much better off with me than with those losers. So don't worry, as he and you mature, he will see what is really important for the future. Guys just need to be immature for awhile!

eBeautyBlog said...

That's too bad what you're going through. You should definitely have a serious conversation with him regarding your feelings. Keep in mind the 3 avoidable "C": complain, compare, and criticism. I'm not saying that's what you're doing but sometime when we care too much, the other person may not realize it and just consider everything we're saying as plain tart: annoying! I hope everything will work out for you =)