Friday, January 16, 2009


I just want to say thank you to all of you that care about me and gave me such great advice. It has helped me out so much the past few days to know that people care and only want the best for me. I don't know what else I would've done. I'm thankful for the advice and for hearing about your past experiences because it showed me that I too can and will get through this just like you all did.

The boy and I have decided that we're going to be friends and just see how that goes. It's still hard not to keep my mind off of everything, but I know I will be fine. I know he will be fine. I told him to go back to school this semester because it's important. He wants to go back to school but doesn't have the financial means to. I told him I only want the best for him. We talked today and it's just hard cuz we figured out so many things that we both weren't happy about in the relationship (the same things too!) But it's too late now since it's already over. I just wish we had this talk before it ended and maybe we could've done things to make it better if we both knew how the other person felt. Well it's useless to think about it now since it already happened. His sister even told me that I deserve better and I agree. I deserve someone who listens to me, understands me, someone who can put themselves in my shoes for just a moment, someone who asks me about my day, and someone who loves me and doesn't give up. And you know what he said to that? He said he wants that too. BUT only when he decides he wants a relationship. It's not fair. Someone else is going to reap all the benefits. What about me? When I've been good to him and we had a good relationship. Why can't I have that? Why does someone else get to come along later in his life when he's ready and reap all the benefits? Whatever. What's done is done. I just hope we both can lead our own lives, be happy and still be civilized with each other. I always told him I couldn't be friends with him after we broke up, but this time is different. I don't feel like I can completely lose him yet because we were so close and he was such a huge part of my life. If we're meant to be together, we will be in time and if not, then we'll still be friends.

So much for Valentine's Day... and our two year anniversary... and his birthday! Thank God I didn't make hotel reservations and buy basketball tickets and all that stuff yet or else I'd be really pissed. Somehow, I saw this coming. I had a hunch that I should wait to reserve everything. At least wait until mid February. Ugh. Thank God. Well it's his loss.

Anyway, I reaaaaaalllllyyyy can't wait until my best friend comes back from vacation. Maybe I just feel like this cuz school hasn't started for me, but the rest of my friends have already gone back to school, my best friend isn't here, and I've lost my boyfriend. I just have too much free time on my hands. Once my bestie comes back, we're going to join the gym. It may be too late to say that it's a new year and I want a fresh start since New Years was 15 days ago, but whatever. There's still Chinese New Year lol. Red $ envelopes, happiness, weight loss, and straight As here I come!

Listen to the lyrics of this song. I thought it was hilarious! I didn't even listen to the lyrics at first. I heard it while I was driving in the car and thought the beat sounded really nice... and then I started listening to the words.... LOL

Crazy bitch hahahaha


Anonymous said...

you'll be find w/o your man. i'm better off w/o my ex, seriously! i have found someone else 100 times better!!!

Askmewhats said...

I'm glad both of you decided to be friends, it's a hard decision, coz of course, the love is still there, but you know what ? You'll get by, you'll be fine! and I'm glad your bestie is coming over too! that's what you need right now, your friends and family!

Connie said...

*hugs* Break-ups are always a huge pain but in time, things will get better for you. It's definitely not fair for you to be with someone who doesn't want the same things as you do in a relationship. Just love yourself and think about your needs for now. You deserve to be treated well.

I hope everything will work out for the best. Hang in there!

Vanessa M. said...

aw babe!! im glad at least you realized it just wasnt worth it.. dont worry i know your giong to find someone whos ready just like you are! and woo hoo! gym!!

Ahleessa said...

Things will get easier with time! I know it's hard to believe at the moment, but it does. :) You just have to keep yourself busy like post several times a day... hehe~ *huggles*

Joanna said...

sorry to hear about your breakup, hun. stay strong, i know you can get through it. be that confident, smart, and independent woman that i know you are. enjoy the single life and do what makes you truly happy. hit me up if u need someone to talk to.

fuzkittie said...

I never be friends with my ex's, just doesn't work for me. I cut off all communication! Well, I hope everything works out the way you want them too.

Mrs.Zeus said...

Awww, Ive been away far too much!
I hope you're feeling a lot better these days, and I am so proud of you for keeping it civil with your ex.
Keep on smilin'

sarahPUFFY! said...

I'm sorry about your ex! I went through the same stuff with my ex because we didn't know how to communicate. I felt the same way too - "why does some new ugly bitch get all the perks after I dealt with the bullshit!?" but the GOOD thing is that your future hot guy will get perks too! ;D

I hope you start to feel better soon! *hugs*

Amina said...

girl, never be friends with your ex.
that's the recipe for mixed messages, nostalgia and wondering what if..
(off topic: listen to babyface what if song...i used to ask myself that question in regards to past crushes that i found the wasn't meant to be!!!)

actually you can be friends when you've healed and moved on.

You actually posed a very interesting question: after investing 2 years in your relationship, another b. is going to reap off all the benefits...well, it's unfair!
but i've come to realize that sometimes we are meant to walk with someone a certain time, learn from each other and go our separate ways.

the return of your investment you will see it later: another man who is more suited for you and deserves you..

Grayburn said...

A fresh start sounds good :) Hang in there!

xo Grayburn