Thursday, January 15, 2009

Day 3

I've just been trying to keep busy lately. School starts next week. I don't want to go there anymore. I feel like I need a change of pace, but it's too late to transfer since other schools have already started. I've been applying for different jobs. I need something new. Not to mention I need something that pays more. I went shopping yesterday and bought some new clothes. Then I thought to myself, "now what the hell am I going to do with all the lingerie that I just bought a few days ago?" I have no use for it now lol. I don't know how I can laugh about it. The boyfriend I mean the ex boyfriend gave a big "Aww" too (as in I'm sorry you bought them all and then we broke up). I did talk to him yesterday and very briefly this morning. I couldn't stop my fingers from dialing his number. It's still sad to think about not having him around in the future and it's not getting any easier as days go by, but I can feel myself getting stronger and that's all that matters.

9 comments:

spankedelic said...

it's gonna be hard. i was really depressed. i gained weight from eating. lol. but as time went on, i got stronger. i still loved my ex and thankfully, he wanted me back. i just wanted to give him his space, cause like i said, when i would try to say hi to me online, he'd ignore me. then i'd ask him, "why did you tell me you still want to be friends if you're not talking to me?" and he'd snap and be like, "well, i just want you to leave me alone for right now..." so when he said that, i just stopped talking to him altogether. it's just like a waiting game. you just gotta wait and see what hapens. but it won't be the end of the world. i thought i'd die w/o my ex. but i was the one that ended our relationship. he never grew up. he always chose his friends over me. it's hard to be with someone that isn't there for you the way you need them to be. he'd always choose his friends over me. i couldn't handle it anymore. i did a lot for him but he didn't do shit for me. he wasn't a bad bf. he just wasn't a good one. so i left him. it was hard but 6 months later, i ended up with my hubby. we're going on 6 years now. i know you feel like you can't live w/o your ex but you'll be fine. i've been through it. i found someone that treats me 100 percent better. my hubby treats me like a princess and would never hurt me. that's more than i can say for my ex. now the girl that my ex likes treat him like shit. she doesn't want to be with him since he got shipped to iraq. she's freaking FAT. it's weird how he picked her. i was always skinny and he would mention shit to me if i gained a few pounds but this girl is like 30 or so pounds heavier than me! so it's weird to see why he'd like her. she's a bitch. she doesn't get along with his family at all. they hate her. she's bossy. she's a biotch. so now he's suffering cause he has feelings for her but she doesn't want to commit to him. it's called karma. and he deserves it!

fuzkittie said...

Soon enough you will be able to put that lingerie to good use... ;] Stay strong!

Oyasumikikuchan said...

I came across your site through a love of make up and as a result of some serious down time at work. =) I’m not usually the type to leave comments and I’m pretty new to this posting thing (I have like 1 lame post on my blog haha! But I enjoy the advice and tips that I am able to gain through others’ posts) I guess as fate would have it, I came across your situation and i just had to say feel better. I know I don't know you and was just passing through, but I just wanted to say that I am going through the EXACT same thing right now and it's only been a couple of days for me as well. Your courage to write it all down is refreshing to me! Stay up and I hope the stars have great things in store for the future for you... So sorry for the creepi-ness of this comment!! >_<

P-ham said...

I'm glad you're feeling stronger. You can do it!! And go have fun with ur friends^_^

mandilicious said...

awww hun, i'm sorry to hear that..but dont worry, you're a very pretty girl , i'm sure you'll find a better bf in the future..someone who really deserves you..stay strong!

Digital Angel said...

I am sorry that you are going through hard time. Like you mentioned, it will take time but you will get over it definitely. I think so. At least you have very lovely friends around you :)

Nanzy said...

awwww *hugs* hope you're feeling better soon!

Grayburn said...

It is funny isn't it when to be happy is to be able to be happy alone when all we want is to be happy with others. I think it's about self respect and letting other people know to respect you as well. You have got me thinking about my past relationships and I realize that I am a better lover/companion now that I've learned how to be happy by myself. I would say continue with your school..you made those plans for your future, not for his. I know the temptation to watch life pass by right now and for sure allow yourself some time to do that but not when it comes to your future (more education = better job :)

You will do just fine girl..trust yourself.

hugs from amsterdam, Grayburn

Shen said...

no words would take the pain away, sis... no amount of advise, help or whatever it is that people will tell you that could make it easier... not unless you want it too. there is no time like today to be happy again, sis. your life must start again... and then soo you'll realize, you made it...