The boyfriend and I broke up. I hate telling the whole world about my problems, but the reason why I need to post this is because I have to get out of denial. I have to tell people that it's over. I have to make myself realize that it's really over. The boyfriend was my world. He was everything to me. It's hard to lose someone that was such a big part of my life. I've been so miserable the past couple of days... hoping things would change and get better, but they haven't. I know time heals, but time isn't moving fast enough. Everyday feels so long. It's torture. We broke up because he wants to do his own thing right now. He wants to be able to do the things he wants to do without fights and problems. He just wants to be happy and I understand that. I want him to be happy. I want to be happy too. It's just hard cuz that means he's going to be happy without me. He doesn't need me, but I still need him. I don't know how to function without him because he was everything to me. I have to love myself and teach myself how to do things on my own again. It sucks that people actually have to go to through this and feel like this. Yeah, it's a normal growing experience, but I wish I could save someone else from this pain. It's miserable, it really is. It's hard knowing that he'll never be a part of my life anymore. It's like there's a big empty hole and I don't know how to close it. Everything reminds me of him. He was the person I talked to the most and now he's gone. My best friend is vacationing in Hong Kong and I can't talk to her. I just feel so alone. I have no one to talk to, but in a way, I don't even want to talk about it. All I want to do sometimes is stay home and cry. and when I do that, all I want is to go out and get some fresh air and hang out with my friends. but once I go out, all I want to do is go home. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know in time that I will be fine, I just don't know how to get there. He's a great guy and I only wish the best for him.